this is the part of me that needs medication

i feel like taking a blade and seeing what all my veins look like

I hurt myself today,
to see if i still feel,
I focus on the pain,
the only thing thats real,

The needle tears a hole,
the old familiar sting,
try to kill it all away,
but I remember everything,

what have I become,
my sweetest friend,
everyone i know,
goes away in the end,

and you could have it all,
my empire of dirt,
I will let you down,
I will make you hurt,

I wear this crown of thorns,
upon my liars chair,
full of broken thoughts,
I cannot repair,

beneath the stains of time,
the feelings dissapear,
you are someone else,
I am still right here,

What have I become,
my sweetest friend,
everyone I know,
goes away in the end,

and you could have it all,
my empire of dirt,
I will let you down,
I will make you hurt,

if I could start again,
a million miles away,
I will keep myself,
I would find a way,

im very unhappy

I haven't hung out with anyone
'Cause if I did, I'd have nothing to say
I didn't feel angry or depressed
I didn't feel anything at all
I didn't want to go to bed
And I didn't want to stay up late

catch 22












the ether.. the shit that makes your soul burn slow

this week has been awesome, i didnt have to go to school at all. it was like a spring break 2 and i enjoyed it so much. its just what i needed.

yesterday was a good day.... except for one thing, my ipod reset itself ands i have no songs on my ipod anymore and i have to put 1000 songs on it again bummer but atleast i got high as shit

420?

i feel so bored with everything in my life, nothing is really exciting anymore

went to comeback kid, with honor, bane and silent drive. the show was pretty good was it was really packed and hot and the stage was really high. it was the first time i went to clearwater and im not in any rush to be back there. one of the highlights of that show was seeing a drunk kid get kicked out, which kind of sucked because i wanted to push him down the stairs.

stayed home today, i was too depressed to get out of bed in the morning and so i decided to sleep it off. i feel better now though. all i need now is a ride so i can go buy a bowl

im getting really sick of school........

ive been up for almost a whole day. It feels kind of weird


........delusions.........

Hunter Stockton Thompson
July 18, 1937 - February 20, 2005
RIP



" Too Weird To Live And Too Rare To Die "

Im starting my Muay Thai soon... im pretty excited
other than that ive been chillin and trying not to go crazy

ive been gone.... rehab feel better now yay! drug free for good now

thursday i did way too much dxm and had to go to the hospital and when i got there i couldnt walk and barely respond to anyone talkin to me and my heart rate was like 155 and i stayed in the hospital for 7 hours till it wore off. so now im talking a very long break from drugs and never doing dxm again. its been like 4 or 5 days and i still feel like shit from that night.

oh its been a while since ive updated sometimes i forgot i have a fuckin live journal.

so im going to start taking my meds again. i want to see if it makes a difference on how i feel everyday and school and shit. we'll see.